A little short sci fi i wrote, let me get some feedback, its not done yet though.
Eden and the Garden of Gods By: James DeWitt
The Suction of the vortex was to powerful. The hole in the steel chamber engulfed my entire being. I stood by and watched as my body slowly dilapidated into the darkness….
“Lance? Lance! Shit.” I said “There is no reception here, my cell... phone is out..” “Ben? Where are we?” Tara asked. “I’m not really sure, Lance said we should have ended up in New York, but I don’t think this is New York.” “Hey Ben?” my brother Kenny spoke up. “Is it possible that Lance screwed up, and set us to the wrong place?” “I don’t know Ken, I just don’t know…”
The three of us stood around wondering how we ended up in the place Absolutely no sign of any human, or animalistic life, just the vegetation which was all around. Now I think on it, it reminded me of what a rain forest should look like. Very vast, and lush, full of amazing looking flowers, and trees of all kinds, however one weird thing I noted, none of these plants resembled anything I had ever seen in my life. There was no signal of any satellites, and my phone couldn't pick up any sort of reception. The top things on my agenda, food, water, and a way out of here..
He ground is wet, and soft showing signs that it had recently rained. I still don’t understand how we got here, or why were here, but the sky was a bright lavender, and there were rings in the atmosphere, most likely a mixture of both hydrogen and methane. But God did it look beautiful. To be completely honest, I don’t even think were on Earth anymore. This place is a little more than terrestrial. From this location, I can note three different orbs which seem to be a sun, or a star type entity. The climate also, is very remarkable. Not too hot, nor too cold, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was simply beautiful…..
The next morning wasn't as graceful as the night, but to reiterate, we ended up camping out in a nearby cavern. Still no sign of water. “Guys” I said “We need to find some way out of here, or we’ll never survive this.” Thus what seemed to be a good day, quickly diminished. The once beautiful sky, now showed a tint of anger. The sky had turned to a blackened rage, as Smokey soot filled the air.
“Come on guys!” I tried shouting over the whirring winds. Then a quick crack of thunder, and a bolt of reddish lightning, which charred the formerly green grass, now leaving it as dark as the skies. “Ben!” Tara screamed. “Back to the cave!” The three of us took of for the cave, as another gunshot of thunder sounded off. We made it back to the cavern as safely as we could. It was quite hard to run, with the now soggy ground, now drenched in the tears of the cosmic heavens… Luckily we were safe… For now.
We Stayed in the cavern for much of the day. The air was now cold, and damp, but we managed to stay warm burning leaves. This place had a basic source of food, and it seemed as the only source around, the fruits growing on the unknown foliage. The rocks we carved out into rain catchers were doing quite well, and we now had a source of water. The storm had been on the job, for days on end. Every now, and then the rain will cease, and we try to leave the cavern only to have the storm start back up, heavier, and more destructive each time.
We decided to take a gaze at what was left of the scenery. The three of us ran outside of the rocky cavern to find a fifteen foot cross. We stood there extremely confused, and surrounded by an unfamiliar mystique. “Ben,” Tara said. “That wasn't there before… “ she was cut off by a loud crack of thunder, and just then the cross burst into flames, and what seemed to be rain began to fall. But something was off, this rain was blood red, and had seemed a lot more like blood, and water.
Just then Kenny screamed “Back into the cave!” as we ran back toward the cavern I couldn't help but notice a noise. Louder than the thunder, much, much louder. I stopped and looked up to find a crack in the sky. My confusion definitely peaked there. But as I gazed up, an enormous fist began dropping toward me. Both Kenny, and Tara had made it back to the cave, and as I headed there myself, pushing harder and harder to make it, the fist collided with the ground knocking me off my feet, and slightly unconscious. Once I came to, the first thought was to get to shelter, I heard the two screaming and pleading to me, but their words were to jumbled for me to understand. All I know is, the blood wretched skies continued to bleed forth….
I drug myself into the mouth of the cavern, and the other two pulled me up to my feet. “Ben we need to get the hell out of here!” the two cried in unison. “I know.. God dammit I know! But how?..” We stood there dumbfounded, and confused for a moment, trying to absorb what was going on. “Hello…” came a mysterious echoing voice. I was stricken dumb. I grabbed the other two, and headed for the exterior of the cave. “Ben… Tara… Kenny?” said the voice. I sped up. “Guys!” I said “Someone else is here.” We approached what seemed to be a portal of sorts. As I looked through to the other side, as face slowly came into transition, it was lance! “Guys” he said “I may be able to bring you home. But I can’t get to where you are, please invite me in?” confusion, and a feeling of distraut shot through me, but before I could let any word slip through my lips, Tara smiled, and said “Come join us Lance, we need your help.” as I screamed to try and stop her. “Tara what the hell are you doing?”
A grin came across the mans face. It was no longer Lance, but a beastly man, with what resembled a goats head. “Thank you Tara.” he said. At that instant his eyes began to glow red, and the cave started to shake. Very violently. The beast then came tumbling through the portal, his eyes still glowing red. “Your not Lance!” Tara screamed.
The beast retaliated with a brutal fist, knocking her to the ground. “Tara!” Kenny screamed, as he dropped to the ground to check on her. “Who are you!” I demanded. He turned to face me, and said “Don’t worry about it, child.” Then his body burst into smoke, and he was gone…
I sat and waited for the sunlight, all through the night. I thought of Lance, and that beast. Now we were stuck with what seemed to be a demon of sorts. We Might as well be screwed.
I also thought of what he said to me. “Don’t worry about it, child.” That worried me. I replayed the scenario multiple times in my head. Both Kenny and Tara still slept, and all I could do was think.
Eventually I began to smooth a stone I had found near the mouth of the cavern. I had widdled it for what seemed as hours. The sky was still a blood red, but luckily the cloud had cleared. In the cave, my two companions slept. Near I fire, I my very self had forged, along with some fruit or what seemed to be fruit that I had gathered. I grabbed towards what resembled an apple, and I brought it to my mouth.
The world outside was once again another change. This time, it was a change of beauty. A forest of indigo fathomed in my sight. The trees a beautiful deep luster of blue. In the distance, I gathered enough sense to notice a goat. Wait.. Multiple goats. They were the only animals I had seen since arriving here. I went towards the forestry, and came closer, and closer to the animals.
I noticed something about the goats. None of them had pupils, just white eyes. It kind of made me uneasy. A few even had burns, little marks burnt into there wool, and through to the skin. Shaken from this experience, I sat down to gain some composure.
When I came too, the scenery had once again undergone a transformation. The sky was black, and the blood rain had returned. Yet the forest remained, and the confusion grew to a higher level.
Eden and the Garden of Gods By: James DeWitt
The Suction of the vortex was to powerful. The hole in the steel chamber engulfed my entire being. I stood by and watched as my body slowly dilapidated into the darkness….
“Lance? Lance! Shit.” I said “There is no reception here, my cell... phone is out..” “Ben? Where are we?” Tara asked. “I’m not really sure, Lance said we should have ended up in New York, but I don’t think this is New York.” “Hey Ben?” my brother Kenny spoke up. “Is it possible that Lance screwed up, and set us to the wrong place?” “I don’t know Ken, I just don’t know…”
The three of us stood around wondering how we ended up in the place Absolutely no sign of any human, or animalistic life, just the vegetation which was all around. Now I think on it, it reminded me of what a rain forest should look like. Very vast, and lush, full of amazing looking flowers, and trees of all kinds, however one weird thing I noted, none of these plants resembled anything I had ever seen in my life. There was no signal of any satellites, and my phone couldn't pick up any sort of reception. The top things on my agenda, food, water, and a way out of here..
He ground is wet, and soft showing signs that it had recently rained. I still don’t understand how we got here, or why were here, but the sky was a bright lavender, and there were rings in the atmosphere, most likely a mixture of both hydrogen and methane. But God did it look beautiful. To be completely honest, I don’t even think were on Earth anymore. This place is a little more than terrestrial. From this location, I can note three different orbs which seem to be a sun, or a star type entity. The climate also, is very remarkable. Not too hot, nor too cold, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was simply beautiful…..
The next morning wasn't as graceful as the night, but to reiterate, we ended up camping out in a nearby cavern. Still no sign of water. “Guys” I said “We need to find some way out of here, or we’ll never survive this.” Thus what seemed to be a good day, quickly diminished. The once beautiful sky, now showed a tint of anger. The sky had turned to a blackened rage, as Smokey soot filled the air.
“Come on guys!” I tried shouting over the whirring winds. Then a quick crack of thunder, and a bolt of reddish lightning, which charred the formerly green grass, now leaving it as dark as the skies. “Ben!” Tara screamed. “Back to the cave!” The three of us took of for the cave, as another gunshot of thunder sounded off. We made it back to the cavern as safely as we could. It was quite hard to run, with the now soggy ground, now drenched in the tears of the cosmic heavens… Luckily we were safe… For now.
We Stayed in the cavern for much of the day. The air was now cold, and damp, but we managed to stay warm burning leaves. This place had a basic source of food, and it seemed as the only source around, the fruits growing on the unknown foliage. The rocks we carved out into rain catchers were doing quite well, and we now had a source of water. The storm had been on the job, for days on end. Every now, and then the rain will cease, and we try to leave the cavern only to have the storm start back up, heavier, and more destructive each time.
We decided to take a gaze at what was left of the scenery. The three of us ran outside of the rocky cavern to find a fifteen foot cross. We stood there extremely confused, and surrounded by an unfamiliar mystique. “Ben,” Tara said. “That wasn't there before… “ she was cut off by a loud crack of thunder, and just then the cross burst into flames, and what seemed to be rain began to fall. But something was off, this rain was blood red, and had seemed a lot more like blood, and water.
Just then Kenny screamed “Back into the cave!” as we ran back toward the cavern I couldn't help but notice a noise. Louder than the thunder, much, much louder. I stopped and looked up to find a crack in the sky. My confusion definitely peaked there. But as I gazed up, an enormous fist began dropping toward me. Both Kenny, and Tara had made it back to the cave, and as I headed there myself, pushing harder and harder to make it, the fist collided with the ground knocking me off my feet, and slightly unconscious. Once I came to, the first thought was to get to shelter, I heard the two screaming and pleading to me, but their words were to jumbled for me to understand. All I know is, the blood wretched skies continued to bleed forth….
I drug myself into the mouth of the cavern, and the other two pulled me up to my feet. “Ben we need to get the hell out of here!” the two cried in unison. “I know.. God dammit I know! But how?..” We stood there dumbfounded, and confused for a moment, trying to absorb what was going on. “Hello…” came a mysterious echoing voice. I was stricken dumb. I grabbed the other two, and headed for the exterior of the cave. “Ben… Tara… Kenny?” said the voice. I sped up. “Guys!” I said “Someone else is here.” We approached what seemed to be a portal of sorts. As I looked through to the other side, as face slowly came into transition, it was lance! “Guys” he said “I may be able to bring you home. But I can’t get to where you are, please invite me in?” confusion, and a feeling of distraut shot through me, but before I could let any word slip through my lips, Tara smiled, and said “Come join us Lance, we need your help.” as I screamed to try and stop her. “Tara what the hell are you doing?”
A grin came across the mans face. It was no longer Lance, but a beastly man, with what resembled a goats head. “Thank you Tara.” he said. At that instant his eyes began to glow red, and the cave started to shake. Very violently. The beast then came tumbling through the portal, his eyes still glowing red. “Your not Lance!” Tara screamed.
The beast retaliated with a brutal fist, knocking her to the ground. “Tara!” Kenny screamed, as he dropped to the ground to check on her. “Who are you!” I demanded. He turned to face me, and said “Don’t worry about it, child.” Then his body burst into smoke, and he was gone…
I sat and waited for the sunlight, all through the night. I thought of Lance, and that beast. Now we were stuck with what seemed to be a demon of sorts. We Might as well be screwed.
I also thought of what he said to me. “Don’t worry about it, child.” That worried me. I replayed the scenario multiple times in my head. Both Kenny and Tara still slept, and all I could do was think.
Eventually I began to smooth a stone I had found near the mouth of the cavern. I had widdled it for what seemed as hours. The sky was still a blood red, but luckily the cloud had cleared. In the cave, my two companions slept. Near I fire, I my very self had forged, along with some fruit or what seemed to be fruit that I had gathered. I grabbed towards what resembled an apple, and I brought it to my mouth.
The world outside was once again another change. This time, it was a change of beauty. A forest of indigo fathomed in my sight. The trees a beautiful deep luster of blue. In the distance, I gathered enough sense to notice a goat. Wait.. Multiple goats. They were the only animals I had seen since arriving here. I went towards the forestry, and came closer, and closer to the animals.
I noticed something about the goats. None of them had pupils, just white eyes. It kind of made me uneasy. A few even had burns, little marks burnt into there wool, and through to the skin. Shaken from this experience, I sat down to gain some composure.
When I came too, the scenery had once again undergone a transformation. The sky was black, and the blood rain had returned. Yet the forest remained, and the confusion grew to a higher level.
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